How does your garden grow?

The drunks at Penn Station may not have approved of the book I’m reading right now, but I’m really enjoying it. I’ve liked the other two books by Michael Pollan that I’ve read (The Omnivore’s Dilemma and The Botany of Desire), but I was a little skeptical about this earlier book on gardening. Not least of all because, despite the seemingly endless number of photographs I take of plants and vegetables, I don’t have much of a green thumb. But I needn’t have worried. Pollan is as engaging here as in his other work, where he’s essentially asking us to do one simple thing: to think about nature and our relationship to it, whether it be the food we consume or our neighborhood lawns:

Of course the democratic front yard has its darker, more coercive side, as my family learned in Farmingdale. In commending the “plain style” of an unembellished lawn for American front yards, the midcentury designer/reformers were, like Puritan ministers, laying down rigid conventions governing our relationship to the land, our observance of which would henceforth be taken as an index to our character. And just as the Puritans would not tolerate any individual who sought to establish his or her own back-channel relationship with the divinity, the members of the suburban utopia do not tolerate the homeowner who establishes a relationship with the lawn that is not mediated by the group’s conventions. The parallel is not as farfetched as it might sound, when you recall that nature in America has often been regarded as divine. Think of nature as Spirit, the collective suburban lawn as the Church, and lawn mowing as a kind of sacrament. You begin to see why ornamental gardening would take so long to catch on in America, and why my father might seem an antinomian in the eyes of his neighbors. Like Hester Prynne, he claimed not to need their consecration for his actions; think of his initials [which he once mowed] in the front lawn as a kind of Emerald Letter.

Perhaps because it is this common land, rather than race or tribe, that makes us all Americans, we have developed a deep-seated distrust of individualistic approaches to the landscape. This land is too important to our identity as Americans to simply allow everybody to have their own way. After having decided that the land should serve as a vehicle of consensus, rather than as an arena for self-expression, the American lawn–collective, nationalized, ritualized, and plain–presented the ideal solution. The lawn has come to express our attitudes toward the land as eloquently as Le Notre’s confident geometries expressed the humanism of Renaissance France, or Capability Brown’s picturesque parks expressed the stirrings of romanticism in England.

Saturday various

  • I have to say, even on a simple design and aesthetic level, I pretty much hate this new Twilight-inspired cover for Wuthering Heights. And that’s even before you throw in all the kind of sad cross-marketing with Stephanie Meyer’s books — which, as near as I understand these things, are pretty bad:

    Quite what Emily Brontë would make of it all is anyone’s guess, although she would probably be quite gratified to actually have her name on the latest editions of Wuthering Heights – like her sisters, in her early career she adopted a male-sounding name, Ellis Bell, to overcome the prejudice against women writers. There’s a fair chance, though, that she might be spinning in her grave at the thought that her work is best marketed with the intimation that it is a pale imitation of Stephenie Meyer. And that’s not a course of action which is to be encouraged, given the latest publishing fad for mashing up classic texts, re-inventing them as gory horror stories, and flogging them to the Twilight generation.

    I must add, however, that I have no great fondness for Wuthering Heights, which I quit reading about halfway through. Like Jessa Crispin, I worry about young girls swooning over Heathcliff just about as much as over Edward. These are not exactly healthy relationships, ladies.

  • I liked Eat Pray Love both more and less than I expected to. It’s often wildly self-indulgent, whiny, and desperate in its new-agey-ness, but those are all complaints the book levels against itself throughout, and it’s often incredibly engaging, so… But honestly, I don’t know if I’m up for a sequel.
  • I can’t say I agree with all of Quentin Tarrantino’s picks for top 20 films (since 1992) — I think Unbreakable is underrated, and arguably Shyamalan’s best movie, but masterpiece of our time? Not hardly — but he thinks intelligently and not at all pretentiously about movies. Here’s a man just madly in love with the medium, warts and all. (Also a man, if I’m not mistaken, physically morphing into Charles Nelson Reilly.) [via]
  • Every time I read an interview with director Eli Roth, I feel like I’m getting one step closer to breaking down and finally watching Hostel. The movies he makes don’t really appeal to me, at least on the immediate and visceral level, but he speaks passionately and intelligently about them and the genre.
  • And finally, via Gerry Canavan comes this (I wish) surprising statistic: 62% of Republicans say the government should stay out of Medicare. Which really does “[illustrate] the profound levels of ignorance that currently interfere with the debate over health care…”

Friday various

  • I think it’s great that Monty Python is being honored for outstanding contribution to film and television, and I hope some or all of the show is recorded and made available. But I can still remember when Python reunions were rare events, and a little part of me kind of misses that. That said, when I read the award ceremony would be held in New York, I absolutely did wonder about the possibility of getting tickets. (Unlikely, I know, and probably just as well. That’s the evening of my sister’s wedding rehearsal — which, as a groomsman and her brother, I should probably attend.)
  • Speaking of comedy reunions, the Kids in the Hall are get back together again…for a murder mystery miniseries? It sounds interesting if nothing else.
  • Remaking Yellow Submarine? In “that creepy 3-D motion-capture technology” used in The Polar Express and Beowulf? Okay, Robert Zemeckis needs to be stopped.
  • So you say you’ve never read Bradley Denton’s award-winning SF novel Buddy Holly is Alive and Well on Ganymede, and you’d like to do so before the movie version comes out? Well, Mr. or Ms. Hypothetical-Type-Person, you’re in luck: Denton is making a free, Creative-Commons-licensed copy available at his website. (And at ManyBooks.net.) It’s been years since I read the book, but I remember being pleasantly surprised at the time. I think it’s time I re-read it.
  • And finally, ladies and gentlemen, the Batman fish. Whatever happened to the gilled crusader? [via]

I scream, you scream

In the fall of 2003, the Penn State Creamery announced that it would debut a new ice cream the following summer, “as part of a yearlong series of events and celebrations commemorating Penn State’s establishment in 1855.” I left Pennsylvania in July of 2004, the very month the new flavor was to be announced, so I never did find out what it was, nor how the new flavor was received by the hungry masses.

However, I recently learned that some librarians are petitioning for their own ice cream flavor from Ben & Jerry’s. (Or at least, somebody’s started a Facebook group around that idea.) And, in the rush to make up silly names for it like “the Dewey Caramel System,” it occured to me that the Penn State Monty Python Society had once spent way too much time thinking up silly ice cream flavor names of its own. Then this afternoon at work, we had an “ice cream social” — one of those office events they trot out now and then to force people to mingle with coworkers — and so I thought I’d look through the list the Society came up with six years ago and maybe post them here.

In 2003, I printed nearly 100 of the best names in the club’s weekly newsletter — which I edited as a labor of deranged love for several years — but in retrospect most of the names aren’t very funny. Like a lot of the newsletter’s content, in retrospect it’s mostly just filler. Some of the suggested flavors were local inside jokes — like CATA Bus Crunch, Sproul Hall Elevator, Nittany Nutz, and We Don’t Know the Goddamn Flavor — and some were just vaguely college-related — like Freshman 15, Student ID Number, Tüition Increase, and Condom Co-op Mint. Some were even more specific to the club — like Free the Hole, FROH, or Wimpy (“it’s gerbilrific!”) — while others just defy understanding half a decade later — like Skrinchie, OMG!!!!!1!!!1!!one!B-P, or Contains No Potatoes. (That said, I would totally order a scoop of Contains No Potatoes, if just to try it.) Most of the rest are just juvenile and/or sex-related — like Syphilicious! and Delicious Wang. And those are the best of them.

In fact, looking over the list now, there’s only a few I find genuinely amusing, like No Means Nougat!, or Soylent Cream (“Good people, good ice cream!”), or even the bizarre Explode! (“the Russian Roulette of ice cream: every 15 cones has a bomb!”) There were some nice meta ones, like The Creamery is Now Closed, or simply Ice Cream. And there’s a weird over-abundance of umlauts — which actually makes me nostalgic for a time when I got to hang out with people who were way too amused by umlauts every week.

But I think my personal favorite — in a list to which I’m no longer entirely sure how I directly contributed, and which nowadays just strikes me as kind of dumb — is the no-doubt sinfully delicious You Can Take Our Ice Cream, But You’ll Never Take Our Freedom.

Okay, that or Squirrel Nuts. It’s kind of a toss-up.

Friday various

  • It’s the obvious joke, but you couldn’t pay me to watch Fox News. I’m dubious about the efficacy of any pay wall, much less one proposed by Rupert Murdoch. Heck, I was disturbed enough to learn that Bill O’Reilly was the recent Career Day Keynoter at my old high school. (He’s also an alum.) [via]
  • Aw man. First Farrago’s Wainscot and now Jim Baen’s Universe. Sometimes, it can seem like not a day without another short fiction marketplace closing. Honestly, the main thing that keeps Kaleidotrope running (beyond my own enjoyment at putting it together) is me turning a blind eye to exactly how much each issue costs me. (It’s a couple hundred dollars, let’s say that. And that’s even though I pay my writers next to nothing.) Sad to see these two markets close.
  • Still, here’s some good news: Scott Westerfeld’s terrific YA novel Uglies is now available as a free e-book. And non-US readers needn’t worry: though publisher asks for a US zipcode, as Westerfeld says, that’s really just five numbers.
  • Generally, I like Richard Corliss (or have never really seen any reason to dislike him, in the few times I’ve run across his work), but he really doesn’t know what he’s talking about in his criticism of Netflix.
  • And finally, although I can’t be at Worldcon, John Scalzi explains the Hugos.