I watched 6 movies last week:
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- The Boogeyman feels so tediously familiar, and not just because of its generic title or because I’ve read the Stephen King short story on which the movie is (very loosely) based. Its plot calls to mind a dozen other horror movies of recent years, and even its moments of specificity feel generic—chosen not because they add an interesting twist on the formula, or even because they’re lifted from King’s (light-on-plot) text, but because they’re simply ticking boxes of the sort of things movies like this are supposed to have. It’s not badly made, and the main cast do a decent enough job, but it seems like it would only be interesting if you’d never seen a horror movie before.
- I think I enjoyed Meg 2: The Trench better than the original, but I say that only because I remember practically nothing about the original except that there was, probably, a giant shark. There are a few scattered moments of half-hearted Ben Wheatley-style horror in this one, but none of them are given a chance to breathe. And while there’s some enjoyment to be taken from the ridiculousness of the last act, it’s never ridiculous enough and never rises above the limited cleverness of your average Sci-Fi Channel shark movie.
- The Vampire Bat never really surprises you about where it’s going, but it’s a short enough ride that it’s not without its charms.
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- The Last Broadcast is creepy, if a little crude and unevenly paced, but it’s mostly undone by a last-minute twist that might have worked in a different movie, but which bere feels tacked-on and unconvincing.
- Somebody made a remake/sequel of Friday the 13th in 2009. Having now watched it, I can say yes, that’s definitely a thing that somebody did. I don’t think it’s necessarily worse than any of the original films—of which i’m not the biggesr fan—but it’s definitely not better, nor does it offer any reason for rebooting the series in the first place. The slickness of its early 2000s production always feels at odds with the grimy…for lack of a better word “charms” of the originals.
- “What isn’t strange, when you think about it?” Despite the witches and the gore, You Won’t Be Alone isn’t a horror movie—except maybe it is, and the horror is simply being alone and human in this world. It’s a quieter and more contemplative movie than I’d expected, an often beautiful folk tale about outcasts and belonging.
I also re-watched The Exorcist. If there’s a better horror movie, I have yet to find it.